We assume these roles unconsciously, in a need to be approved or be right. Staying in these dysfunctional roles prevents us from taking responsibility and doing the harder work to step out of codependency.

Friends can be our chosen family. When life feels lonely and scary, I hope you have a friend who is safe, fun, and great listeners. Sometimes family and community are not safe to be your authentic self.

Where do you feel balanced and unbalanced in your relationships? Shifting the balance takes a strong sense of differentiation. Differentiation has three components.

Imagine it’s Saturday morning and your partner says “I am going to the grocery store, what would you like?”

It takes imagination and creativity to experience pleasure. It can be a powerful mindset that brings you into control of your satisfaction and unlocks the playfulness that adults too often lose.

It is guaranteed that in a long-term relationship, there are times you will feel bored, disconnected, disenchanted, hurt, and lonely. When your relationship is struggling, it can be hard to view commitment as a luxury.