No self-improvement this month
Hello friends,
This month let’s take a break from trying to be better people. There’s enough stuff on our plates. The state of the world is sad, scary, and depressing. On top of that, we have our own personal ups and downs. It can feel like too much to take on a personal growth endeavor now. I know I am shooting my coaching business in the foot with this idea but I think I am reading the room accurately.
Let’s take a break from trying to change something about ourselves and instead take a month to recognize what is already good, wise, and lovable about ourselves and our lives. How about this month be about self-compassion, recognition, and gratitude? If that sounds too self-indulgent then simply focus on gratitude. Next month, call me and we can look into why you’re uncomfortable with self-compassion.
Daily rituals around gratitude and appreciation are powerful practices for mental health. Our brains are wired to hold onto negative experiences and perceived threats in order to keep us safe and alive (thanks brain, now chill out!). To re-balance our brain’s predisposition towards scanning for danger, we can be intentional about recognizing the joy and beauty around us. Taking time to appreciate good things helps train our brain see everything that’s in front of us, not just the scary.
As a way to honor the lovable creatures that we are and re-balance the negativity bias of our brain, let’s try an exercise.
Step 1: Think of something you are critical about yourself.
Step 2: Think of ways that thing from step 1 benefits you or those around you. What good comes from it?
For example, as I have gotten older, I have less tolerance for dark, heavy, and disturbing TV shows, movies, and books. My critical voice wishes I had thicker skin and wasn’t so sensitive. On the flip side, I find funny, joyful, and inspiring content which makes me laugh daily. I like that I laugh a lot.
I hope you have fun with this activity and that you rack up a massive list of things that are great about you. Lastly, thanks for being part of The Relationship Space community. I truly enjoy writing these newsletters and hearing from you when one resonates (or doesn’t). Take care and be kind.
With loving support,
Mallory
Recommendations:
To laugh: All things Zarna Garg. I just finished her book This American Woman: A One-in-a-Billion Memoir (it’s funny and an incredible story). She has a stand-up specials and is in the movie A Nice Indian Boy.
Creative awe: Check out the Architecture Digest tour of this amazing historic Portland home renovation! It’s dreamy.